dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
And then my night got REAL pukey
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
