Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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