i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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