That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
