You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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