There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
