There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
