This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He did a backflip because drugs
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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