I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
