You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am available for nakedness
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
