ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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