Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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