i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
