Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize