Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
