Kiss
Puke
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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