The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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