your parents love me but you hate me
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
