I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
