"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
