she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
