Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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