I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
