So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
