i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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