Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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