just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Welp...herpes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
