i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
