I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
