what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
