they need to just BURY HIM!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
