The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
