how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
