you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
