I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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