John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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