So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How's work?
Spinning.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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