I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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