he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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