Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
