We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
