We won't sleep together?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my being single is dangerous.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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