thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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