People with herpes should wear stickers.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
