the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
