Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
