biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
