yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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