Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
