Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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