You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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