school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize