You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
