Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
