All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
