I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize