I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
