Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
