My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize