If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize