I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
only if we run a train.
done.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
