jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
