You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
