do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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