And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize